No Sleep Parade
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It’s the 3 am stop on day 6 of the no sleep parade. No mercy in sight. My pinterest board has enough new projects to
last me a year and then some, I have thoroughly creeped the infinite walls
of Facebook for the fifth time, and my phone is almost dead. 10
months ago, this was the story of my life.
With a 7 month old, sleepless nights were the norm, not the minority. But now, it has left me, well, just
tired. Having to get up for work in three
and a half hours doesn't really help my attitude either.
The sleepless night is a right of passage for all new
moms. We expect it, are warned about it,
and even learn to dread it. But, has
anyone ever told you that you also learn to love it?
I can still remember my first sleepless night in the hospital. I was so in love with that little boy, that
it didn't even cross my mind to wish he would sleep. In fact, I was in such awe of him that I didn't
even think about the sleep that I would never get back. I even looked forward to those middle of the
night snuggles where no one would interrupt us, OK maybe except those
pesky/amazing nurses who looked after us. I wouldn't have changed it for the world. It was the only time when we could be mommy
and son, alone.
Fast forward a few months, and all I COULD think about was
that sleep I would never get back. The
fact that the other half couldn't help because I was nursing (even if he gave him a
bottle, then I had to get up and pump, so what would be the point in that?),
and the recent return to work also made it that much worse. My mind was tired; my body was tired; I was
tired. How was I expected be everything
to everyone? Mamma, teacher, wife, and
milk cow? I was still getting use to my
new roles, and it wasn’t easy. I would
eventually get there, but it would take some time.
It wasn't until little man was about a year and finally
sleeping through the night that I started to miss our late night snuggles. We no longer had that time devoted to just
us. I would leave for work by 7, come
home from work at 5, he would be in bed by 8, and then we would do it all again
the next day. Where had our bonding time
gone? I began to miss those 3 am wake up
calls. The ones where I would come in to
his “mama” pleads, pick him up, and feel him melt against my body. I was the only person he wanted; the only
person who could calm his fears. I was
his everything, and he was mine. I could
stare into his blueish eyes and dream about who he would be, without anyone
demanding that I get this paperwork done, or worrying about when I was going to do laundry
next (OK, so maybe laundry was always on my mind).
At 17 months old, those late night snuggles happen so very
seldom, that my body is not quite conditioned for that lack of sleep, but it doesn't
mean that I don’t adore them just the same.
While I would LOVE to have sleep (and trust me, so would the other half), I
have chosen to relish those late night moments.
I know that someday sooner than later, he will be too old for Mommy’s
snuggles and kisses, so I will give enough now to last him a lifetime. I will embrace the tight squeezes that little
man gives me when I try to put him in his crib.
Even after 6 nights of this, I still
love to watch him sleep. And even
though I will never get those nights of sleep back, I can never replace that
time with my little man. So Mammas,
cuddle your babies close , give them a small kiss and thank them for giving you
that time, and remember, it does get better.
I love this!
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